Why I am a political atheist

Have you heard about this amazing new trend? It’s called voting. Athletes and musicians I admire are getting into it, including Ice Cube and O.J. Simpson. The NFL wants my family to have a “game plan” for voting, lest we “lose” the biggest game of the year. (Pete Carroll, who headlines the commercial I am describing, once elected to throw the ball at the one yard line into the best secondary in football when he had Marshawn Lynch available to him during the actual biggest game of the year.)

Here is what my offensive coordinator and I drew up: Get through homeschooling quickly on Tuesday morning (first quarter).


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