King Midas and his Duma

King Midas was the son of the great goddess of mount IDA from an unknown Satyr, whose name no one remembers. King of the Mosh he became a chance, and could live happily among rose gardens, sung in the ancient thieves songs. But Midas, as, indeed, many other Mosh, all the time, it seemed that there was something he didn’t, something hurt.

Once, pretty drunk at the festival of Dionysus, the old Satyr Silenus, a former teacher of God the liberator, behind the main part of the riotous Dionysian army, down from Thrace into Boeotia, and fell asleep in the rose garden of king Midas. The servants of the king tied Silenus brought before the king. To get opohmelku Silenus told Midas about a great geopolitical catastrophe — the destruction of Atlantis, where the ancestors of Midas was not the kings, not that, — there is Strong went to the patter, servants of kings. After these words, Midas began to dream of the resurrection of Atlantis. Enchanted inventions drunken Silenus, Midas kept him at home and quizzed about the opportunities to take possession of their former lands.

Meanwhile, Dionysus was worried about the fate of his mentor, Silenus and sent to the Midas people to ask what ransom he wants a drunk friend. Midas, without hesitation, replied: “let everything I touch be turned into gold”. Overseas cunning saw through the boundless greed of the Mosh, and their king, even read for leisure, “the Tale of the fisherman and the fish”, and then gave Midas a welcome gift. All in the house of the king began to turn into gold not only flowers, stones and stuff, but even the food he tried to eat, and the water he tried to drink, sitting on a Golden throne to the gold Desk. The next morning Midas begged to be freed from ill-considered requests, for simply die of hunger and thirst. Dionysus, of which this incident is much amused, told Midas to dive into the river Paktol that mountain Tmol, then immediately his ability to turn everything into gold disappeared. But in the underground veins of the country of the Mosh flowed oil and gas flowing, and the fabulous wealth of Midas only increased.

But the greed of Midas insisted. All the neighbors began to seem to him usurpers, seized his alleged previous ownership. For several years, Midas has managed to quarrel with all. Then the Phrygians bite a piece of land, Colchis, the Thracians, then beatice. Grow the Kingdom of Mosh new lands slowly, and happiness.

Midas was surrounded by only the princes, who obsequiously nodded to him and swore in readiness to follow him towards the revival of Atlantis. “You, great Emperor, we will restore the lost in the worst geopolitical catastrophe of the last century!” So said the Mosh who believed in the star and in the divine origin of their king.

Himself to believe in the divine origin, Midas began to invite the Kingdom of Mosh in all sorts of competitions — sports and music — that all were convinced of its wonderful power. Once at the competition the so-called Eurovision, he intervened in the famous dispute between Apollo and Mariam. The judges awarded the victory to Apollo, but Midas decided to cheat. Yes, so he accompanied to his thieves flutist on the piano to some strumming on the lyre, pretty boy came to the kings? That will never happen. For the stupidity and greed of the treacherous Apollo, and gave, saying, the king of the Mosh donkey ears.

I must say that at first the opponents of the king and foreign, and even some insolent of the Mosh — rather loosely called the policy of Midas “donkey”, and most of it, not literally, of course, but only for the countless done out of stupidity, called “the donkey”. But after gaining real donkey’s ears, even seen them he’s the only one taking the evening complex headdress, the king became nervous, neurotic. Now, knowing the remnants of your mind the absurdity of its aggressive policy, he began to suspect everyone in the fact that the Mosh somehow found out about it sent Apollo ugliness.

Finally, deciding that because of the stupid donkey ears he is, what kind, and all can turn into a genuine donkey, and Midas burst into tears, snot chewing, decided to get rid of hanging lifelessly and became even cute donkey ears. “From a dead donkey ears” — encouraged itself Midas before the operation, without learning, however, at least move these ears to the delight of his subjects. He invited the faithful Barber that those damn ears cut, but the Barber, horrified by what he saw ran away from the Palace, abandoning all their tools.

Not caught the Barber of Midas decided to issue a decree forbidding under pain of death to disclose his secret. But, as the decree could not at the same time and report the presence of Midas’s donkey ears, and to prohibit the disclosure of this fact, Midas ordered his nobles to formulate the law so that no one could guess what he actually denies.

Midas did not consider one. Even the most intelligent of the nobles, from the daily need to flatter and to prevent all sorts of mitasova stupidity, twenty years of the reign of king finally became stupid. Because of that, and the law on lese Majesty has formulated the most ridiculous to the Mosh and for ourselves this: is the prohibition to insult the king or call to violent action (even if only against his ears!), they declared illegal disrespect to all the nobles. And even to the way of turning into nobles, who decided to take advantage of the king. And so, if yesterday all touched Midas, turned into gold, from now on, any expression of Mosh turned their lives to shit. In the liquid shit that happens when, for example, will encounter in the woods with a hungry bear. Here, even in the past a brave man, crap in your pants.

Meanwhile, Barber, the only one of the Mosh, not counting the very Midas, who knew about the donkey ears, could no longer carry this unbearable secret. He dug in the river Bank of the hole, looked around to make no one was around, and whispered: “king Midas donkey ears!” Then he buried the hole and with quiet soul went home. But his rest did not last long: from the pit rose a thinking reed, which is in the land of Mosh jokingly called intellectuals. This intelligentsia and spread the mystery of Midas all over the world. When Midas learned that his ugliness for anyone no longer a secret, he was forced to bring down punishment on nobles — on the basis of the law on contempt of donkeys, which they themselves had adopted on his head.

Then what happened to Midas, no one knows for sure. And the story itself knows only the subjunctive: could be so, and might, and commercials. It is unknown exactly what became and “Taurus people” is a lying and thieving Mosh. Some say Dionysus finally spoil them — and not wine, and some favorite Mosh swill. Others say that the Atlantis Mosh decided not to revive, but became a fair breeders: Apollo turned all the nobles of the king in cattle, losers — meat, lucky dairy.
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